Hey-up. How’s tha doin’? Alreight?
Big one, is this. For me, anyroad. It’s the last
post.
I started this blog as a run/walking, greatly overweight
lump of inertia, whose sporting activity days had slowly escaped away. I went
for my first walk/run on April 19, 2012: 440 days (and
1966 miles) ago. And you know what? I couldn’t stand running.
That’s right – couldn’t.
To me, running was just an inane and unrewarding combination, the mere thought of which engendered
boredom and suffering. This wasn’t a solely theoretical mindset, rather one borne out of earlier days when it was a regular fixture of football training and a rare activity with my Dad. Sure, keep at it long enough and maybe one day you’ll
run a half marathon, maybe even a full one – but you’re hardly going to win,
are you? I’m no fantabulous tennis player, yet by combining some graft and a
burning dislike for some of my opponents I managed to win the prestigious
Portishead Lawn Tennis Club’s Men’s Single Championships back in 2008. I still
had a shirt I had printed that reads: “If it’s not about winning, why do we
keep the score?” – because, in tennis, they have scores to keep! Just like in
football, in cricket… but not in running. That’s just… one foot in front on the
other. N’est-ce pas?
So – ’twas with this informed attitude and open
mind that I tried out this running malarkey whatsits thingamijig. For all its
shortcomings, running, with its flexibility in terms of time (of day, of
exercise length) seemed worth a shot to shed a little weight. So I gave it one.
And I figured I’d write down my moans and rambles while I was at it. Heck, I had
no time for running, but I’ve always enjoyed writing. I had to make it
worthwhile somehow.
There followed fifteen months of waffling about
exactly how I’d been putting one foot in front of the other. I started off with
no clear objective other than to avoid buying new jeans: an objective which I
failed miserably to achieve, as I’ve had to buy jeans two or three sizes
smaller than the ones I was just about squeezing into fifteen months ago. Then,
back in September, I ran my first 10k, in my beloved Endcliffe Park in my hometown of
Sheffield. A week later I ran my first Half Marathon, in my
adoptive surroundings of Bristol. And, last April, I ran my first marathon, Up North but on’t wrong side
o’t’Pennines, in Manchester (well, Cheshire). I talked you through the training
and then recounted those races, a handful of other races and all the
roadrunning in between. Throughout, I prefaced every effort by reminding you
that I can’t stand running.
Much to my surprise (and occasional horror spasm),
I quite enjoy it now. It’s a state of mind which I’ve come to accept, if
somewhat reluctantly. Granted, it is the height of summer (in British terms),
its long days ensuring that both early morning jaunts and late-night marathons
can be run with the sun’s blessing. Just how enjoyable this lark will be when I
once again find myself dodging potholes in the morning dark (which could easily
mean 7am) remains to be seen. But, right now, I’m enjoying it. There. I’ve said
it. And not for the first time.
With that in mind, it’s time to move on. “I Can’t
Stand Running” has run its course. I have told my story, one whose outset did
nothing to suggest it would have taken the shape it did. Time to stop writing
about how I can’t stand running: time, maybe, to collate (i.e. copy/paste) my
wafflings from the last 440 days into an old-style diary (OK, .pdf file) for
future contemplation, once a few more dozen soles have been worn out. But I can
only describe my Nore Road ascents so many times… even today’s run, with its 1,223 feet of ascent over 14 miles (87.35 ft/mi – my Jan-Jun 2013 average being 41.50), is of dubious interest, much as I was
happy to have finally drawn up a fresh, challenging route… and talking you
through my preparations for Chester would be a mundane and boring exercise for
us both, the novelty and mystery of Manchester unrepeatable… sorry, the time has come to call
Last Orders on this blog. It’s been one helluva ride and I am humbled and
grateful to anyone who took the time to read even just one solitary post of
mine. I’ll finish this one and then leave.
However…
…every end has a beginning, right?
That’s right. I’m bringing I Can’t Stand Running to
a close, but starting a new chapter. Time alone will tell how different it will
be from this one. But here’s where I’m heading:
notjustabouttherunning.blogspot.com
There you go – you can put that bugle away now. And don’t go there just yet – I’ve not posted owt.
Giz a chance! This one’s going to take more thought…
The plan is to keep writing about running a bit whilst
spending more time on the things I think about whilst out running. About my
unsolved philosophical questions, my current (and unprecedented) question marks
over theology, my challenges as a parent in modern Britain, my goals and how
they seek to elude me… and about a bunch of less grandiose rubbish, no doubt.
See, here’s the thing. We get changed, stick on our
surgical tape, lace up and head out onto our roads and trails… and we run. And
we check our watches, monitor distance and pace, constantly trying to figure
out in our mind how we’re faring and what might be a reasonable result for the
day, how that would fit within the bigger picture of our training and whether
we need to speed things up to be home in time. All critical contemplations,
especially if the meal awaiting us isn’t microwaveable. But even the most
over-analytical mind can fit in time to ponder other stuff, from the working
day ahead to questions that otherwise life will get in the way of. It’s one of
the reasons we run. It’s certainly one of the reasons I run, anyway, even more
so a reason I run without music even though I own around 1,500 albums that
could keep me company. I probably would like to run with others more often than
I do (which is hardly ever), but certainly not all the time. I just want to be
alone with my thoughts and the earth’s sights, sounds and smells, fresh air
blowing into my face. And if that makes me a mardy bum, so be it. I generally
have the face on, anyway.
This may not be the first post on here you
read – regardless, it’ll definitely be the last… But if you have wasted time reading previous mumblings of mine, thank you. I
hope you found it worth your while. I hope I did my story justice… should I
have focused more on the brain surgery I underwent five months before first lacing up? Nah. I’ve lived with epilepsy all my life and, on the whole, we’ve got
on OK. We all have our crosses to bear and mine’s lighter than most: on me,
anyway. It can be more of a pain for those around me. Reluctant as I was to
acknowledge my epilepsy on my race numbers at the outset, it’s something I am
now proud to do. For every sufferer whose day-to-day activities are not
compromised, there are plenty who couldn’t take to the roads the way I’m doing.
I’m aware of this in races more than in training and I’d like to think I’m
going from start to finish for them, too.
On that note, for the last time on this blog a huge
thanks to my brothers for their love and inspiration. They are always the last
people I think about at the start of a race, when I look up to the sky and give
them a smile, and they are always the first people I thank at the end, when I
look up and blow them a grateful kiss. Walls are easier to overcome when you’ve
got two angels lifting you over them and, in that regard, I’m blessed. Every
foot beat on the asphalt, every heart beat on every run… I’ve carried you with
me. Other than when you’ve been the ones doing the carrying, that is.
So I’m off folk, from the comfort of my
well-trodden running roads to new, virgin trails. Not as an overweight lump,
rather as a 3h31’ marathon runner in the physical form of his life. As for the
inertia… well, it’s pretty much still there. In the words with which Isaac
Netwon defined it:
The vis
insita, or innate force of matter, is a power of resisting by which every body,
as much as in it lies, endeavours to preserve its present state, whether it be
of rest or of moving uniformly forward in a straight line.
I’ve done away with the resting – but I’m still
moving forward, if not a) uniformly or b) in a straight line. I’ve been running
every day for 265 days now: that’s inertia, of sorts. I wouldn’t recommend
you try to alter that state, anyway. You’d be surprised to discover how keen I am to preserve it. Or maybe you wouldn’t. Best leave it.
So there you have it: I’ll still keep you updated
about my efforts and my ambitions, but I’ll try and mix things up a little. I’ll
keep downloading the stats from my Garmin but will occasionally seek to
download some thoughts from the brain, too. Because even after you’ve clocked a
long run, even if you’re clocking 50 miles a week or 200 miles a month, it’s
not just about the running. It never is.
Anyroad, I’m off – you coming?
p.s.: oh, and you know what? I love running. I finally gave in
during the Sheffield Half Marathon. I thought
I would: if you can’t feel the love in Sheffield, there’s no hope for you. Just
don’t tell anyone… least of all Mike.